| Lessons - will i ever learn? |
[Jan. 19th, 2007|04:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
Today’s lesson
Lesson 1:1
Don’t wear a white shirt again.…ever.. yes ever…That’s right ever.
Obviously you weren’t paying attention when attending the lecture “Don’t wear a white shirt 1:0:1” last week, or the prerequisite course that we saw you sneak out early from on Monday.
Fact: White shirts do not agree with you, at no stage in the foreseeable future will this proven fact change.
Any time that you should challenge this theory by wearing a white shirt; will result in disaster, embarrassment, humiliation and excess laundry.
Accept this as fact and wear a different coloured shirt.
Lesson 1:2
Whilst we appreciate that physics was not your strong point in school, it’s imperative we bring to your attention the Amontons-Coulomb law of friction which followed on from Newtown’s first law of friction that we are certain had already been discussed on your first day.
To remind you he law clearly states:
Should you forget your washing on the line and be reduced to wearing your last resort; shiny, slippery blue underwear underneath lose cotton brown pants - the undisputable result will involve constantly flashing your knickers to anyone within a 1 metre radius. This unfortunate outcome is evidenced by the theory that the slippery fabric of the underwear will act similar to a liquid lubricant which will in turn repel the cotton pants, and due to gravitational pull, will cause them to slip down towards the ground at a rate of 1 centimetre per minute.
To reduce the impact of Amontons-Coulomb’s law we suggest the following:
Replace the cotton pants with something tighter as this will negate the gravitational pull.
Replace the underwear with a non slip fabric – overcoming the lubrication issue.
or
safety pin the cotton pants to the offending underwear until one of the more suitable methods above can be applied. We do advise caution if this option is chosen. If the gravitational pull is particularly strong the end result may be the movement of both cotton pants and slippery underwear in a downward direction leaving nothing but your bare ass. |
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| Comments: |
hah!
I can't wear white either -- the boob shelf catches all spills. :( | |
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